The Master Is Dead! Long Live The Master

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JA from MNPP here. In case you missed the news, it seems that Paul Thomas Anderson's next film The Master - which was to star Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the leader of a new Scientology-like religion in the 50s with Jeremy Renner as his disciple and Reese Witherspoon as his wife - has turned into a pillar of salt and gone poof. It's E-meter done gone and flat-lined. I'm sure it supposedly being a thinly-veiled critique of a religion intertwined with a large portion of the Hollywood establishment had nothing whatsoever to putting a pox on PTA's house, I am sure. Sure. Why not.

Anyway this is depressing news for those of us that worship upon the altar of Paul Thomas Anderson. I promised him my first born and all I get are empty promises! It's enough to make you not believe in a higher directing power after all. My faith in movie-making is shaken! I am having a crisis of cinematic conscience! To quote a well-known philosopher renowned for his wise words and his hammer pants, what we need to do is pray. But who does one aim this sort of prayer towards? Christian God is too busy editing all the boobs out of movies to get them down to PG-13. Muhammad doesn't show his face at the cinema. And unless you're willing to sing and dance it Bollywood-style Buddha doesn't take movie requests. Who is the god of movies? Is it Morgan Freeman too?

..Can you hear me, Morgan Freeman? It's me, JA.
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In all seriousness, if this movie is indeed dead as a dead dormouse, what should PTA turn his attentions to next? Something to get the tweens with their sexting and such on-board could definitely raise his stock I think. Maybe a Love Story 2010 with Zac Efron and his girlfriend. I know, he could remake Boogie Nights and have Katherine Heigl play Amber Waves! It's genius. Fifty million dollar opening weekend in the bag!
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Near, Far, Wherever Comments Are...

I just wanted to take a moment out to publicly thank those of you who take the time to comment. I do read them all. Comments aren't exactly a reliable gauge of how popular a post or "series" is, but they're fun to read nonetheless and can help with motivation on darker days. Some time ago I had to switch to "moderated" comments for any article that's not on the front page to prevent the spambots from touching the film experience in its private places -- No means no! -- so I read all those, too. Just for fun a few notes on brand new comments from old posts.


Robert T is, like me, rattled that Disney is always trying to put Princess Aurora in a pink dress after the fact. It's just so wrong. Blue!

Sachin shared an alternative top 10 once confronted with the Top 50 Female Performances of the 00s. Hilary Swank shan't be denied her fans and Amy Ryan's Gone Baby Gone still has proponents. I've actually been thinking about the latter performance this week. I was wondering if anyone in Ben Affleck's The Town is going to seize awards traction by the balls the way Amy did in that earlier Affleck effort. [tangent] And I also saw the trailer to Jack Goes Boating wherein she romances Philip Seymour Hoffman. From the looks of the trailer she's playing this one in inverse noise proportion to her work on Gone Baby Gone. That's probably a smart move since PSH is directing and probably wants all the attention. He's purposefully making himself look even schlubbier than usual. Why must the cinema torture me with its sexism? They'd never let an actress equivalent of PSH anywhere near a camera, even if she was twice as talented as he. He gets lead roles and then purposefully looks worse than he needs to. If they need a woman to look "unattractive" they just hire someone breathtaking and forego makeup or they do prosthetic work to really drive the point home and win the gorgeous actress prizes for hiding her light under a bushel. (Nerve, touched.) [/tangent]

Finally, Derek added his voice to The Devil Wears Prada love from last Tuesday, calling Streep's work not just the best of 2006 but Best of the 00s period.

P.S. Hope you had a great holiday weekend or a weekend that felt like a holiday if it wasn't one for you.

P.P.S. Oscar prediction updates tomorrow.

P.P.P.S. Do you like the new banner? Now that it's up I'm totally wondering which of the six movie peoples will take my call. One Ringy Dingy. Two Ringy Dingy. Pick up!